Pet Loss Library


Euthanasia guilt and your pet

by Kitty Walker, LMSW-ACP

Dear Kitty,

How do we work through the guilt of putting down our 10-year-old rottie, even though she was fully aware and mentally sharp but arthritis had made her back legs useless?

A and T

Dear friends,

I am sorry that you had to go through this experience with your rottie. Making the euthanasia decision for a beloved pet has to be one of the most agonizing crossroads a human can confront in life. Obviously, you made the decision based on seeing her struggle with a poor quality of life, and now you are left with the pangs of guilt that are common to all who travel in your shoes.

In terms of "working through" the feeling of guilt, I would recommend that you first of all see them as an inevitable part of the grief process---especially for those who are forced into the decision regarding euthanasia. One works through the feelings by first of all allowing them, then talking about them and perhaps writing about them. When you feel bogged down by guilt feelings, it might be helpful to consider the memory of your healthy, mobile rottie and the loss of her quality of life when arthritis took away the use of her legs. You could not give her back her legs, which I am sure you would have done if you could, but you could ease her pain and suffering in a way that she could not do for herself.

My heart goes out to the two of you at this time. May your healing be deep, and may you find comfort in both your memories and the knowledge that you did the best you could when confronted with the most painful dilemma a pet owner has to face.

Kitty


Ask Kitty is a psychotherapist specializing in grief and loss issues which humans encounter when their pets die. She has worked in this area for a number of years, providing counseling to people at this special time of need. She also provides consultation and education to employees of veterinary clinics in her area.

“I love when my dog Cash and I walk in the door and everyone greets us by name. It means a lot (to both of us! :)), and shows that you all really do care for your patients and guests. You guys are great! Thanks so much for everything!” -C. Johnson

“I chose Northern Valley when I got my first pet due to the extended hours during the week and on Saturdays. That is very helpful considering I work full time. The vets and techs are fantastic. They know my pets by name and are familiar with their medical history even without their charts in hand. All staff are very sweet to my animals.” -M. Moeller

“The vet was so nice and worked so well with Izzy, who is totally paranoid and afraid of other people. I appreciate his time to answer my questions and tell me how to keep Izzy healthy.” -R. Martin

“Thank you to all the wonderful staff of NVAC! You provide wonderful care to us and our owners. This year, we are particularly grateful for your care of Roger—he retrieved over 100 pheasants this season and is at his physical best—despite Addison s and ACL/broken leg—amazing!!!’ -Roger, Noel, Bella & Kiddy” J.&B. Oviatt

“Loved the tech who cut our dogs' nails. She did an excellent job!!! We have been coming to NVAC since 1992. It is so nice that everyone knows us and our pets. We appreciate all you have done for us over the years---esp. those Westie years!!” -C. Parker-Neiss

“The technician was very attentive and made sure to ask about my dog's weight history (we think there must have been an error on the previous visit). Both the vet and tech were accommodating to my dog's quirks (were very gentle with the ears and did not take the rectal temp as she freaks out and was not sick at the time of the visit). They were very kind to her and offered treats with the vaccinations. Even the receptionist made sure to pet her and offer a treat. My dog was not at all traumatized and was as happy as always when leaving. I felt all my questions were answered and I came away with good knowledge of my dog's health (fortunately it was great). I also bought some Heartguard and Frontline as flea and tick season will be upon us soon.” -L. Estes

“Northern Valley is fantastic. The attention and care that my pets and myself have received has been extraordinary, especially when dealing with a deathly ill animal. I really appreciated that the staff paid attention to my concerns and valued my thoughts and observations as we problem solved and determined treatment. I can't help but wonder if we would have had a negative outcome had I been at another vet. Thanks to the great staff for helping treat my kitty!” -M. Moeller

“Always a wonderful experience. Very professional and kind and friendly staff. Thank you! Vladimir had his hair cut by Shannon and she is amazing! She is kind and gentle with our robust pet. She is a brilliant groomer! We LOVE Shannon. Especially Vladimir.” -S. Palmer-Ziolkowski

“I am soooo very happy with Northern Valley Animal Clinic, and I am very grateful for all the care you all have taken care of all the pets we have had. Boozer, Sammy, Dolly, and now Izzy. I feel very confident in her care with you all. Thanks for being there.” -R. Martin

“The whole staff is awesome!!! Been there for/with me & my furkids in good times & in bad. Also, they are wonderful supporters of rescue groups.” -E. Meinecke

“They have treated me with such kindness. I had to put my little man to sleep, my 11-year-old ferret named Sid. Not only were they gentle and caring about the process, they sent me home with a little paw print keepsake. Thank you so much.” -D. Nicole

“Shannon is the best groomer!!” -M. Smith

“The staff were ALL very kind and seemed to truly like and appreciate the animals they were dealing with, they had good empathy with me and also my dear dog, who was their patient. I feel relieved to know that I have found a good "medical home" for my little animal family, at Northern Valley Animal clinic.” -N. Honeychuck

“We really appreciated being able to call at about 11:30 am on a Saturday and being able to be seen at 12:30 pm the same day. Meant a lot to us!” -J. Hill

“There is nothing more important than making sure that your pet is in good hands when it has a medical problem or needs preventative care. The team at Northern Valley Animal Clinic is wonderful and always treats you and your pets with respect. They have the knowledge and dedication to make sure that your furry family member is well taken care of. Every time we take our shelter animals into the clinic, they are always treated with the best of care and compassion. Thank you Northern Valley for all you do for the homeless animals and Paws and Claws!” -T. Johnson

“Dr. McKie really went above and beyond my expectations. I needed to bring my 2 young inquisitive children with me on the night of our cats' visit, and she let my children hear our pets' heartbeats and answered all of their questions even about animals that weren't even present! Thank you to her for giving us such a fun and exciting experience. My kids are still talking about it! Thanks again to all of the staff who made our night with their friendly service and willingness to answer questions!” -T . Tollefson

“Thank you, Thank you for the awesome grooming on my dear Ginger. My wife and I trust no one with our girl. Shannon was kind and warm to her which in turn made us very comfortable leaving Ginger in her care. Gin looked great when we picked her up and she did not seem to mind her ordeal at all. You guys are wonderful and we will be back. Thank you.” -J. Kapinos

“Woof Woof” -from Ginger

“You guys are great!!! I have a dog with lots of issues, and you guys always take good care of us! Thank you!!” -A. Reed